Book Review: No Country for Old Gnomes

 

•  Authors: Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne

• Where I bought this book: The Book Loft, Columbus, Ohio 

• Why I bought this book: I was looking for the strange, and fantasy is weird

*******

    I now know the difference between gnomes, dwarves, and halflings. They are all short, insulated creatures who like their routines, but have their differences and individual peculiarities. They are not adverse to adventures.

    If one must go on an adventure to save the world.   

    This tale mirrors their lives. It -- and they -- starts slowly, meandering about. Indeed, I found the beginning rambling enough that I considered abandoning it.

    But then the quest -- that should be The Quest -- began. 

    And I saw it was good.

    Here's a quick summary: Halflings are attacking the gnomes, bombing their underground huts and otherwise disrupting their lives. The various leaders of Pell are either helpless to stop the attacks, or don't care. The other creatures ignore the problem, hoping it'll go away, because it does not affect them.

    You can read this as a metaphor for society if you want.

    Eventually, the various Questors -- a robot, two gnomes, a dwarf, a halfling, an ovitaur* named Agape Fallopia, and a gryphon** who eats, speaks and hears more intensely than all the others -- come together to cross the country to find the goat King Gustave. (He literally is a former goat who magically transferred to being human, which he still kind of regrets, but is diligently learning human ways.) They also need to see the kanssa-jaarli, the gnome-halfling council meant to mediate disputes.

    All of the Questors have their issues. The gnomes are trying to break out of their gnome-shells. Agape steals salt shakers, and inserts extra A's into their speech. The gryphon is particular about language and colors. (Blü is different than blue. Respect the umlaut!) The halfling, Faucon, is a pessimistic legal scholar, who says at one point: 

To find a way to make oneself heard, and to make it matter, is rarely an easy thing, even when the courts are on one's side and one's toe hair is perfectly combed.

    The tale is, of course, fantastical, told with lots of humor, wordplay, and oddball characters -- vampires who double as dentists, and a witch who dislikes apples, for instance. The authors sometimes get carried away, but it's all in good fun.

    It lives up to the reasons I bought the book.

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*Body of a sheep, head of a human,

**Head and wings of an eagle, body of a lion.

Book Review: Good Eggs

•  Author: Rebecca Hardiman

• Where I bought this book: The Book Loft, Columbus, Ohio 

• Why I bought this book: I was looking for a quick and fun read; this was her debut novel, and it looked right

******

    Like her character Millie Gogarty, Hardiman tells a good yarn.

 

    But unlike the elderly Millie, who tends to embellish and stretch out her story telling, Hardiman is concise and keen. She writes a pithy and funny tale about the kerfuffle that three generations of a Irish family find themselves in during the rainy season of their discontent.

    Yet, despite their meanderings, mistakes, and muddled lives, we know, deep down, they are good eggs. Why, it says so right on the cover.

    The middle guy in this saga is Kevin, a son and a father who is trying to hold their lives together, but like many a hapless dad, finds that no one really listens to him. Still, he tries.

     He loves his wife (mostly); he adores his four kids (even when they act out), and he does his best for his mother as she enters the purple phase of her life.

    His mother is Millie, elderly and kinda, sorta losing it, but determined to continue as she always has. She wants to keep her seaside house in Dúg Laoghaire, outside of Dublin, but when she gets arrested for mindlessly shoplifting at her local store, gives in to Kevin's insistences she bring in a caretaker.

    Then there's Aideen, Kevin's 16-year-old daughter. She is, well, she's a moody teenager who hates her family, hates her school, and hates her life -- and she isn't shy about letting everyone know. She does not take kindly to her parents' plan to send her to a nearby boarding school.

    There are a few other characters -- Aideen's perfect but bitchy twin, Nuala (who Aideen calls Nemesis); Kevin's mate's mother, Maeve, who gives Kevin the what for: Miss Bleekland, the school's disciplinarian (and old maid); Sylvia, the American helpmate, and assorted friends, neighbors and relatives -- mostly well drawn, but just around for decoration. Except for one of them. Well, maybe two.

    So that's the setting, and the story takes off from there. It's a short book of 323 pages -- and 64 chapters! -- so it moves quickly. It may take a while to introduce everyone before the real action starts, but then things hurry along. 

    It's funny, gentle, and moving.

Book Review: The Chronicles of Kazam series

 

• The Last Dragonslayer (2010), The Song of the Quarkbeast (2011), The Eye of Zoltar (2014), and The Great Troll War (2021)
• Author: Jasper Fforde
• Where I bought these books: Various book sellers over the years; bookshop.org for the finale 
• Why I bought these books: Fforde is an inventive and witty writer. "Quark," said the Quarkbeast

    

********

    I recently noticed that the subtitle of The Great Troll War is A Last Dragonslayer Novel. So maybe the use of the indefinite article means it's not the end, like we are all led to believe? Maybe, just maybe, there is room in the future for more tales about Jennifer Strange, the Kazam Mystical Arts, and the Ununited Kingdoms? 

    We can only hope. 

    It was a joy for me to read this Young Adult series -- and I am a person to whom the term decidedly does not apply. The series has all the attributes of the Jasper Fforde oeuvre -- the imaginative yet cerebral tales of fantasy highlighted by clever and bantering dialogue.    

    Okay, he sometimes gets carried away, but it's all in great fun. He gives us a sardonic view of authority, farcical side tales, and whimsical if grounded characters.

    Take this series, for instance, set in the Ununited Kingdoms, a place similar to Great Britain in an alternative dimension. It is a land where trolls -- 25-feet tall, the tattooed characters eat humans and consider them vermin -- are confined to the northern tier, and the Kingdoms routinely go to war with them, and routinely lose. 

    In Fforde world, this accomplishes several things: It allows the various kings, moptopps, dukes, potentates, and other inept rulers to have an enemy to blame for their failures, test out their new war toys, and provide more orphans who are the key to their society.

    Oh yes, there are dragons, quarkbeasts, tralfamosaurs, and other magically created beasts. And while magic is on the decline, it remains useful for things such as repairing bridges and the like.

    Enter Jennifer Strange, whom we first meet in the first book at age 15 when her orphanage apprenticeship has her going to work for Kazam Mystical Arts Management -- and who ends up running the place, despite her lack of magical skills.

   Fast forward through three books while she does her duty, and we learn more about the skills of this irreverent and brilliant character.

The Great Troll War with my breakfast*

    In this long-delayed fourth book, The Great Troll War, the trolls have taken over and surrounded most of the Kingdoms, creating Greater Trollvania. They are on the verge of invading the Kingdom of Hereford, where Jennifer and her magical friends live, but have been stopped at the border by a ditch filled with buttons (it's one of their few fears; so is a certain shade of cerulean). 

    Jennifer must somehow fix this problem. Her army includes a dozen spoiled princesses and two teenaged dragons. Along the way she negotiates with Molly, a troll who cannot eat her because she is part of the 6.67 percent of vegetarian trolls. (Keep that math in mind. It's important.) (Also, because there are quarkbeasts, physics may be involved. But just a little.)

    So, that's the plot, more or less. I may have explained some things improperly, but it's sometimes hard to keep track of everything in the Ununited Kingdoms. But it sure is amusing to try. 

                _______________________________________  

*Tea and scones play a role in the books as a treat or snack. Particularly at the Globe, "a late-night scone bar . . . that served top-quality scones until the clotted cream ran out or a fight started."

Book Review: The Last Taxi Driver

 The Last Taxi Driver, by Lee Durkee

    I picked up this book because of the cover and the title: I saw it in the bookstore. I liked the cover -- it was bright yellow. I smiled at the title. I read the synopsis. I laughed. I bought it.

      It's one of the many reasons I browse in real bookstores as opposed to buying online. I never know what I'm looking for until I find it.

    Anyway. I was right about the book. It's enticing. It's funny. It's worth a read.

    Lou works as a cabbie in a small town in northern Mississippi filled with obnoxious frat boys, drug dealers, and desperately poor people. His employer is one of the last legitimate taxi companies around -- although its owner is a conniving fool who seems to dedicate her life to making her drivers miserable. But Uber is coming -- which will make the drivers even more miserable and anxious, with even less control over their down-and-out lives.

    So Lou muddles through his 12-hour shifts, shuffling drunks and meth-heads and old people on their last legs to low-paying jobs, hospital visits, and liquor runs in a city without public transportation. And Lou has his own problems: He's a failed college teacher (one semester) and novelist (one book, rarely to be found). He's looking for an excuse to get his no-longer girlfriend to move out, while narrating his lonely, melancholy life.

    He's really good at the narrating. And the loneliness. And the melancholy. And his undisguised despair at the town he lives in and how it forces people to live lives of -- as the philosopher once said -- quiet desperation.

    Consider this passage about the only Black Republican man in town -- who spends his days guarding the Confederate statute in the town square, while getting routinely beat up for his troubles.

Clem ended up meeting a Black woman at some Tea Party gathering who was also into the rebel flag -- there's somebody for everyone -- and they became a couple until one night, driving home from a rally, the two of them became convinced somebody was following their truck. Clem called the police -- 911 recorded the whole incident -- then he sped up, lost control of his pickup, ran off a bridge into the Tallahatchie River, and the two of them drowned together in that river without anybody ever writing them a song.

    Gems like that make one keep reading. So does his chapter of tips for the budding cab driver: Don't project your prejudices on the people you encounter while driving. Having a penis doesn't make one an awesome driver. Never fuck with anybody driving a Dodge Charger, Don't take selfies at red lights.

    There's more, but you'll have to buy the book to read them. Get thee immediately to your local bookstore and do so.

Book Review: Eggshells

Eggshells, by Caitriona Lally

    Vivian is a bit of an oddball, living in her deceased aunt's delapidating older house. She wanders through the streets of Dublin, searching a a fairy door to the Other World, where she is sure she belongs.

    Her empathetic portrayal in this well-done novel allows you to see the world through her eyes, helping you understand her emotions and motivations. Somehow, it all makes sense.

    See, Vivian has a bit of a past, with a vague history of trauma and depression. She's an orphan and unemployed. She's a lost soul who seeks her own way in the world -- a way that is lonely yet longing to be engaged, and is observant and concerned with the world around her.

   Her travels through Dublin are Joycean. She names the streets and places, bridges and roads, back alleys and buildings. that she passed in her travels. She traces her walking route out on paper and gives it an illustrative name. 

    She has an assortments of quirks. She is enamored by street names -- she walks up LEESON STREET to see the "cheery double EE's." She enjoys the work of the people who paint over some of the white letters on the blue-background streets signs, turning, for instance PENBROKE STREET ino -E-BROKE STREET.

  

    She advertises for a friend named Penelope so she can ask why it doesn't rhyme with antelope. She keeps lists of words that amuse or tantalize her. She wonders why we have capital letters, but not capital numbers. She expresses concern about how the number four can stand on just one leg, and why the number two always seems to be looking backwards.

    But mostly, she is just looking for her place in life. The writing here is sympathetic and understanding. You sometimes fear the author may cross the line over to mockery, but she never comes close. This is where Lally is at her best in giving Vivian a voice.

    It's a witty, fun tribute to those of use who might be deemed a bit peculiar, but who nonetheless bring enjoyable and outlandish views to our sometimes homogenous life.

Book Review: The Incomplete Book of Running

The Incomplete Book of Running, by Peter Sagal

Reading this book is kinda like having a guy tap on you the shoulder and say, "let's go for a run." And while you run, he also talks. A lot. He talks like a runner, veering from topic to topic at random. He tells stories happy and sad, discusses his bowel movements, and relates tales from the numerous marathons he had run.

He keeps going on and on, as you pound out the miles. All the while, you're nodding your head, laughing or expressing sorrow at his predicaments.

He's faster than you, but that's OK. He challenges you, but knows instinctively when to slow down so you can catch your breath for a couple of seconds. If you need to walk for a bit, he's more than willing. 

Peter Sagal is the host of the NPR show, Wait, Wait. ... Don't Tell Me. He's also a marathoner, and a pretty good one at that. He has qualified for and ran the Boston Marathon several times, and his personal best time is ... well, I won't tell you that, because it's one of the better stories in the book, and I don't want to ruin it for you.

The book covers a year in Sagal's running life, along with enough personal information to put it all into perspective. He goes backward and forward in time, letting you know how he got into running, how it continued -- more or less  throughout his life -- and how it often kept him centered during the times of trouble.

In short, the book is just like running -- sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking, but always inspiring. Runners will see themselves. Non-runners will recognize their running friends.

Book Review: Red at the Bone

Red at the Bone, by Jacqueline Woodson

Jacqueline Woodson packs a lot of story into fewer than 200 pages.

The opening that describes a coming-out party for Melody, a 16-year-old black girl -- wearing the same dress that her grandmother Sabe, then 16, also wore, but that her mother Iris, then 16 and pregnant, could not -- sets the stage for a tale of family in the black community.

But it's much more than a family tale -- it's story about ancestors and descendants, about friendships, and about class and race. It's a story about love and marriage and sexual orientation. It's a story about connections and feelings of isolation, It's a story about hopes and fears, about bigotry and hate, about the past and the future.

We learn that the family survived the 1921 Massacre in Tulsa and began a new history in Brooklyn, but never forgot the past.

"Every day since she was a baby I've told Iris the story," Sabe tells us. "How they came with intention. How the only thing they wanted was to see us gone. Our money gone. Our shops and schools and libraries -- everything -- just good and gone. And even though it happened twenty years before I was even a thought, I carry it. I carry the goneness. Iris carries the goneness. And watching her walk down those stairs, I know my grandbaby carries the goneness too.

Woodson tells these stories through various voices weaving their way through time. Characters come alive as their stories mesh and reveal family history and secrets. Their relationships defy time and space. They come together and sometimes feel left behind.

She uses tight, yet emotional and compelling language. She ties the generations together, allowing each to share with the long ago, but to develop their uniqueness in the now.

Book Review: The Bookish Life of Nina Hill

The Bookish Life of Nina Hill, by Abbi Waxman

This is not the type of book I would normally read. If it were a movie, critics would dub it a "rom-com."

But I liked it. It was funny. Sometimes laugh out loud funny.

Yeah, it was a bit corny in parts. Some plot lines mysteriously vanished. And the deus ex machina was hard at work. Still, it was a light, easy, and enjoyable read. Did I mention it was funny?

The book's description caught my eye:

"The only child of a single mother, Nina has her life just as she wants it: A job in a bookstore, a kick-butt trivia team, and a cat named Phil. If she sometimes suspects there might be more to life than reading, she just shrugs and picks up a new book. When the father Nina never knew existed suddenly dies, leaving behind innumerable sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews, Nina is horrified. They all live close by. They are all -- or mostly all -- excited to meet her. She will have to Speak. To. Strangers."

Okay, it sort of overstates Nina's being an introvert. But it sounded like someone I could identify with.

So give it a whirl. You shan't be disappointed.